


We Used to be Friends

by a1_kitkat



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: 5 Times, 5+1 Things, Boys Kissing, Bullying, Canon Related, Childhood Friends, Coda, Episode Tag, Kylex, M/M, Not Beta Read, Teen Crush, Teenagers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-27
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2020-02-07 08:38:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18617080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a1_kitkat/pseuds/a1_kitkat
Summary: Five times Kyle Valenti kissed Alex Manes & One time Alex Manes kissed Kyle Valenti





	We Used to be Friends

The sun was shining brightly overhead but the rays barely broke through the treetops. Alex and Kyle were trailing behind their fathers who were each armed with a hunting rifle though neither boy had ever seen either of their fathers actually shoot anything. Alex had heard the gunshots and seen the dead animals but he’d never witnessed the killshot and he was thankful for that.

 

Kyle stepped on a twig which snapped and echoed very loudly which caused them to exchange worried looks especially once an argument started up ahead. Alex was used to the gruff anger in his father's voice which was always balanced out by the rational tone of Kyle’s father.

 

A moment later, Jim Valenti came back and looked at the two boys. His eyes were so much kinder than his dad’s and Alex wished, not for the first time, that Jim had been his father. He envied Kyle.

 

“Boys, it’s getting late” Jim said to them. “You both know the way back to the cabin, right?”

They both nodded.

“You boys head on back and we’ll be along once we find this deer, okay?”

 

Kyle promised to behave then he grabbed Alex’s arm and started to pull him back along the path they’d taken. Neither could believe their luck at being allowed to return to the cabin unsupervised.

 

Laughing and giggling to themselves they practically ran all the way and didn’t stop until the small cabin was in sight. Kyle opened the door and they hurried inside, kicked off their shoes and sank down atop of their sleeping bags.

 

“I have something to show you” Kyle said with a glint in his eyes.

“What?” Alex was already excited. He loved the secrets he and Kyle shared.

 

Kyle reached under the couch and grabbed his backpack. He unzipped it and produced a magazine which he presented to Alex. Kyle watched for a reaction from the other boy but Alex just frowned.

 

“Where did you get it?” He asked.

“In the basement” Kyle said “its old, I think it’s my dads”

 

He opened it and showed the double page image of a naked woman to Alex. 

“Look at her boobs” Kyle giggled.

Alex smiled and reached for the magazine, started to flick through the pages but they were all the same. Lots of pictures of barely dressed or completely naked women. One page had an image of a woman in her underwear kissing an attractive man.

 

“You ever wonder what it’s like?” Kyle asked him.

“What what's like?” Alex replied.

“Kissing! Have you ever kissed a girl?”

“What? No! Have you?”

“Not yet but I will”

“Kyle”

“I’m nearly thirteen, Alex! Half the boys at school have kissed someone and I don’t want to be the last… I can’t not kiss a girl before I’m a teenager!”

“Have you got a girl in mind?”

“Yeah”

“Who?”

“Liz”

“She’s nice, you should kiss her”

 

Kyle took the magazine back and hid it inside the backpack. He suddenly looked nervous and Alex frowned.

“What’s wrong, Kyle?” Alex asked.

“I’m nervous about it” Kyle confessed.

“Why?”

“Because I’ve not done it before. What if I’m bad at it?”

 

Alex laughed. Kyle was amazing at everything he did. He didn’t tell him that though.

“I think I should practice” Kyle stated very matter of factly.

“it’s a good idea” Alex agreed “maybe with the palm of your hand?”

“Nah, that’s not good enough”

“Well it's not like there’s anything else you can use”

“Yeah there is”

 

And that’s how Kyle Valenti became Alex Manes’s first ever kiss. 

After the initial peck, Kyle insisted on more and tried again, even used his tongue. They were still practicing when they heard the footsteps on the porch and they stopped.

 

After dinner, both Alex and Kyle climbed into their sleeping bags and Jim turned off the lights. Just when he thought Kyle was asleep, the other boy spoke very softly.

 

“Thanks Alex” he whispered “I want Liz to think I’m just that good on my first try”

“Anytime Kyle” Alex choked as tears slowly ran down his cheeks.

 

**-**-**-**-**-**-**-**-**-**

 

It was only a few months after that Alex and Kyle were back at the hunting cabin, roasting marshmallows in the fireplace while a storm was pelting the roof. In the kitchen the two boys could hear their fathers arguing but they’d become used to it. Bickering was just something friends did, Kyle and Alex argued all the time.

 

But it was different this time. Jim Valenti came storming into the room, pulling his jacket on and clutching an umbrella in his hand.

 

“Kyle, I have to head home tonight” he told his son “but you stay here with Jesse and Alex, I’ll be back in the morning”

 

Jim’s car had barely vanished from the drive when Jesse appeared in the doorway with a bag in his hands. Both boys sat up straighter, Alex’s eyes were wide as he stared up at his dad. Kyle knew Jesse was an angry man but he didn’t understand why Alex always seemed on edge around him.

 

Jesse ordered them to follow him. Alex immediately did as instructed but Kyle grabbed his sleeping bag on the way out, it was cold outside!

 

Once on the front porch, Jesse dropped the bag with a loud clunk of tent poles and told the boys this would teach them extreme survival skills as they needed to put the tent up quickly because that was where they would be sleeping once it had been constructed. Jesse immediately went back inside, locked the door behind him and left the two boys standing in shock.

 

Kyle was the first to move, threw himself at the door in a bid to get back inside but Alex was more methodical. He opened the bag and immediately set about counting the tent poles. His father had made him do this so many times he was convinced he could do it with his eyes closed, which was essentially what they were doing given how dark it was.

 

The wind kicked up and blew the tent off the porch so both Alex and Kyle ran after it, Kyle’s sleeping bag trailing behind him. They jumped on top of the tent to stop it moving then slowly dragged it back towards the porch. 

 

It was no easy feat and by the time they were done, they were both soaked through to their skin but from their spot on the porch they could see the remnants of their fire still burning out. Neither wanted to spend the night in the flimsy tent so they creeped around to the side of the cabin and Kyle hoisted Alex up so he could open the window. He climbed onto the sill then reached a hand out to Kyle.

 

Being as quiet as possible, they left their shoes under the window and sneaked back to the fireplace. Kyle stoked the fire, held his hands close to the flames to attempt to warm himself. Alex joined him and they huddled together in front of the fire, bodies pressed together for warmth. Kyle took his shirt off to help it dry quicker but Alex refused to remove his, terrified Kyle would see the marks, bruises and scars on his skin.

 

They sat together for a long time, both too cold to speak but they eventually warmed up and could feel their limbs again. Alex dragged his sleeping bag closer to the dying fire and climbed inside but couldn’t stop looking at the still trembling and half naked Kyle whose sleeping bag was still outside, no doubt completely ruined by the storm.

 

“Did you ever do it?” Alex whispered.

“Do what?” Kyle asked.

“Kiss Liz before you turned thirteen”

Kyle grinned and winked at Alex.

“She let me kiss her on my birthday” Kyle smirked “best present ever”

“And was she impressed by your skills?”

“Very”

 

Alex laughed very softly and remembered what it had felt like to kiss Kyle, even if his friend had only seen it as a practice. It had been sweet and gentle; he kind of envied Liz getting to be Kyle’s ‘first proper kiss’.

Kyle was still shivering so Alex sighed and unzipped his sleeping bag, inviting Kyle to join him, to conserve body heat.

 

Kyle smiled and climbed into the sleeping bag with Alex, wrapped his arms around his smaller body and held him tightly. Their faces were so close as they shared Alex’s pillow. Kyle whispered his thanks of gratitude then leaned close and kissed Alex’s lips.

Alex’s second ever kiss was now also with Kyle.

 

“It’s okay if you want to keep practicing” Kyle whispered to him. “Until you find the right girl anyway”

 

Alex sighed.

“What if I never find the right girl, Kyle?” He whispered.

But Kyle merely chuckled and pulled Alex closer to him, already feeling warmer after the freezing chill from outside.

“You’ll find her, Alex” Kyle assured him “one day you’ll find her… and she’ll be beautiful with gorgeous eyes, big boobs and curly hair that she hides under a stetson”

It was Alex’s turn to laugh.

“It’s not so hard to imagine, we live in Roswell” Kyle added “you’re gonna meet a beautiful cowgirl and fall madly in love”

 

Alex closed his eyes and placed his hand over Kyle’s but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t image his beautiful cowgirl. All he could see, feel, picture was Kyle Valenti and he hated himself for it.

 

**-**-**-**-**-**-**-**-**-**

 

Summer was Alex’s favorite time to visit the hunting cabin. The days were long but he and Kyle always found things to pass the time, there was a small stream not far from the cabin and they’d go swimming until their skin was wrinkled. 

 

When they were younger they’d even tried to build a treehouse close to the stream but have failed miserably and given up in favor of a long swim. They’d received a lecture that evening from Jesse over their failure to finish what they’d started. Kyle immediately forgot all about it and quickly moved on but for Alex, something changed that day between him and his father. He had no idea what he’d done but his father never looked at him the same way after that.

 

Kyle was up at the crack of dawn, tried to shake Alex awake but his friend simply burrowed further into his sleeping bag. With a sigh of disappointment, Kyle got up and made his way into the kitchen for a glass of water. He then started doing a series of push ups on the kitchen floor, was still doing them when Jesse came in for a cup of coffee.

 

Jesse and Kyle had finished their breakfast when Jim and Alex finally joined them in the kitchen. Jesse was quick to tell Alex exactly what he should be eating, to build up his strength for the day ahead. Kyle thought it odd that Alex simply nodded his head and did as he was told. He’d noticed a gradual change in his friend and not just his choice of wardrobe.

 

After breakfast, Jesse instructed Kyle and Alex to meet him outside. Alex stopped to put his shoes on so by the time he joined Kyle and his dad, he was already filled with a sense of dread but his father didn’t say anything to him, simply told him to fall in line beside Kyle.

 

“A few years ago, you two failed to build a simple treehouse” Jesse told them.

Alex and Kyle exchanged a look; Kyle was grinning as he remembered that day, Alex flinched.

“But you are older now, stronger, smarter” Jesse continued with his authoritative tone of voice. “So you’re going to do it again and you’re going to do it right”

 

He stepped aside and they saw all the supplies they needed; hammer, nails, measuring tape, planks of wood. Kyle’s eyes lit up like a Christmas tree and he bounded over to the supplies, picked up a hammer.

 

They worked well together all day, only stopping to briefly have lunch then got straight back to work. The sun was hot, burning even especially to Alex in his black shirt. Kyle had no shame and whipped his shirt off, tossed it aside and kept working. Things became really difficult for Alex after that because his eyes kept wandering, watching Kyle while he worked but all the while he was very aware of his father who was sitting on a chair on the front porch, had been all day, just watching the two boys at work.

 

Kyle was completely oblivious to Alex’s unease and constantly made jokes even tried to encourage Alex to remove his own shirt, seeing the sweat pouring from him but Alex outright refused. They made a lot of progress and Jesse told them to call it a day, let them go down to the stream to cool off.

Both boys jumped in still fully dressed and started to splash about away from the prying eyes of Jesse Manes. Over a barbecue dinner, Jesse praised the amazing work Kyle had done on the treehouse while Alex kept his head down.

 

The next morning, Jesse sent them back to work but didn’t watch over them again instead he disappeared into the woods with Jim. Alex was able to breathe easier away from his father’s judgmental gaze. Kyle had already completed the floor of the treehouse and he offered a hand to help Alex up but when the other boy reached for his hand, Kyle saw what Alex had been trying to hide from him.

 

Once Alex was sitting next to him on the planks of wood, Kyle reached over and yanked his shirt up to expose the bruise on his stomach. Alex yelped and pulled away, hastily re-adjusting his clothing.

 

“Alex, what happened?” Kyle sounded worried but Alex couldn’t tell him the truth.

“I… uh… wasn’t watching where I was going” he insisted “and ran into a low hanging tree branch”

“And last month when you fractured your fingers?”

“Closed them in a car door”

“When did you become so accident prone?”

 

Alex shrugged his shoulders but Kyle reached out and slowly lifted up his shirt again. His heart was pounding as Kyle examined the large bruise and he closed his eyes, hoped that Kyle wouldn’t examine it too closely. His entire body was tensed as he felt his friends eyes on him.

When he opened his eyes, Kyle was still looking at him but there was something else in his gaze, something Alex couldn’t read.

 

Kyle carefully leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss to the bruise on Alex’s stomach. His breath hitched when Kyle’s lips touched his skin.

 

“My mom used to do that when I hurt myself as a kid” Kyle confessed “it used to make me feel better”

 

Alex knew Kyle meant well but it was too much. He pulled away and scrambled to the edge of the tree then all but jumped down. Kyle called out to him but Alex simply took off, running as fast and far as he could. He didn’t know what hurt more, knowing Kyle genuinely cared or the shame he felt at the way his body reacted to Kyle’s lips.

 

He was a terrible person, his dad was right. He was a disgrace and an embarrassment. Alex threw himself into the lake to wash away his shame and his tears.

 

**-**-**-**-**-**-**-**-**-**

 

Things were never the same between him and Kyle after that day. They only stayed at the cabin another few days before heading back to Roswell and the rest of the summer passed without Alex even setting eyes on Kyle again. He took refuge in the toolshed behind his house, spent hours on end playing his guitar. 

Alex also sneaked over to the Wild Pony where Mimi and Maria always welcomed him with open arms. After begging and pleading, Maria pierced his ear for him and showed him how to apply eyeliner.

 

On the first day of senior year, Alex bumped into Kyle who was walking with his troop of jock friends. They took one look at him and all started laughing. He didn’t know which one said it first but over the next few weeks, whenever they saw him, they called him the same thing. He kept his head high and ignored them, ignored all of them… except for Kyle. Because Kyle never said a word against him, just stood back and let his friends do all the taunting.

 

Alex had never been the athletic type but he could hold his own in gym class. After a particularly grueling game of dodgeball, Alex lingered to talk to the coach while the rest of the class hit the showers. He didn’t like being in the locker room with his classmates because he didn’t know what they were going to throw at him. If he accidentally made eye contact, they accused him of gawking but if he ignored them they were quick to call him out for thinking none of them were good enough for him.

 

By the time he eventually reached the locker room, the majority of the class were already on their way out. He kept his head down, knew he should’ve lingered longer. The next period was lunch anyway, he could’ve held out until they were all gone. Alex made his way into the showers but the only classmate still there was Michael Guerin who often seemed to linger in the showers, as though it was a luxury for him.

 

Alex ignored him and he ignored Alex who showered as quickly as possible, hoped Guerin wouldn’t dare look at him, see the fresh bruises on his body. He got out of there as quickly as possible, dried himself off and dressed in a hurry but stopped in front of the mirror to check his eyeliner.

 

“What happened to you, Manes?”

Alex looked up at Kyle’s reflection then spun around to meet him face on.

“What do you mean, Kyle?” Alex asked, confused.

“When did you start dressing like… that?”

“Over the summer, my dad hates it”

 

He tucked his eyeliner into his bag and started towards the door but Kyle reached out and grabbed hold of his arm, stopped him from leaving.

 

“What happened in the treehouse, Manes?” Kyle lowered his voice “I was just being nice, trying to make you feel better”

Alex averted his eyes; he couldn’t tell him the truth, he’d never understand. He took another step but Kyle immediately grabbed him with both hands and threw him, forcefully, against the nearest locker.

 

Alex winced but before he could push Kyle away, break free of his hold, Kyle’s lips were on his in a deep, bruising kiss. He held it for a moment before he pulled back.

 

“That’s what you’ve always wanted; isn’t it, Manes?” Kyle asked in a harsh tone.

 

Before he could reply, movement out the corner of his eye caused them both to turn and find Guerin staring at them with a bemused expression on his face. Kyle immediately released his hold on Alex, cast a seething look at Michael then turned and walked away.

 

Alex let out a breath. Guerin was staring at him.

“Everything okay?” He asked.

“I’m fine, it’s none of your business” Alex shouldered his bag and took off without another glance at Guerin. His heart was still racing while his brain was in a panic.

Kyle knew… He’d spent so long trying to control and hide his feelings yet, somehow, Kyle had figured it out. Kyle knew and Alex was completely screwed.

 

**-**-**-**-**-**-**-**-**-**

 

Alex hurried out the door of the auditorium, fighting back tears as he hurried away from the building and from prom. He couldn’t believe he’d let Maria and Liz talk him into going, he should’ve known better.

 

Kyle’s jock friends had been taunting Alex since day one of senior year but Kyle himself had mostly stayed out of it until tonight. His words had cut Alex deep enough that he’d immediately fled but now he could hear Kyle still calling out to him. Ahead of him he could see Guerin and Max Evans. Seeing Guerin gave him the confidence to turn around and confront Kyle.

 

“Say it again” he insisted as he stared into Kyle’s eyes and wondered what had happened to the boy he’d grown up best friends with.

“Ohhh I don’t see what the big deal is, Alex” Kyle replied. “We just have different tastes; I like tacos and well, you like... hot dogs”

“That’s not what you said”

“What did I say?”

 

“Kyle?” Liz’s concerned voice caught her boyfriend’s attention.

Kyle cleared his throat. “You know, I think you’re just blowing this whole thing out of proportion, Manes”

“So, what, you don’t want Liz to hear what you called me? You’re going to be one guy with your friends and another with her? You are a coward. Always have been”

 

Alex shoved him and Kyle retaliated swiftly with a hard punch. Liz cried out but Alex returned the punch only to have Kyle throw another. It was enough for the spectators to intervene, one of Kyle’s jock friends had his back. To Alex’s surprise, the one person to come to his aid was Michael Guerin who looked at him with absolute concern.

 

“Are you okay?” Guerin asked him, looking direct into his eyes.

He didn’t answer, simply held his gaze, wiped his mouth then placed a hand of gratitude upon Guerin’s shoulder before brushing past him and hurrying away.

 

He heard Liz’s footsteps following him and while he appreciated her concern, Alex really just wanted to be left alone. She stayed with him for a few minutes until he was able to make an excuse and leave but he didn’t know where to go. 

Alex didn’t want to go home but he didn’t want to just aimlessly wander the streets either so he doubled back to the school and onto the football field where he sank down on the bleachers and tried extremely hard not to cry.

 

Alex sat there for a long time, anxiously chipping away his nail polish then chewing on his cuticle. At least none of his classmates ended up down here to see how sad and pathetic he was. Showing up to prom with no date then picking a fight with one of the star jocks and now he was alone and trying not to cry on the bleachers.

He missed the innocent friendship he used to have with Kyle. Sure, his feelings for his friend had become complicated quite some time ago but Kyle had been sweet, kind, caring. It had been so easy to fall for him. 

Even over the past few months, since their locker room kiss, Kyle still hadn’t joined in his friends taunting. Sure no one else had noticed this but it had meant a lot to Alex. The jocks may be jerks but Kyle had sneaked by as part of the group and never the instigator until tonight. He wondered what had made Kyle change his tune.

 

“I’m sorry, Alex”

Kyle’s voice was close and caused Alex’s defenses to shoot up. He turned and saw Kyle standing along the very bleacher Alex was sitting on.

“I never should have called you a faggot” Kyle added as he moved closer.

Hearing it again in an apologetic tone didn’t make it hurt any less.

“Why not? Your friends have been calling me one for months” Alex spat.

“They shouldn’t”

“But I am, Kyle, I am gay”

“That doesn’t give anyone the right to call you what I did”

“You wanted to make it clear for everyone that you don’t encourage it… don’t like the way I feel about you”

 

Kyle sat down on the bench beside Alex.

“But I did encourage it, Alex” he admitted “I mean, I didn’t know that’s what I was doing”

“All those times you kissed me, you mean” Alex added. 

“Yeah… Alex, if I’d known, I never would have-”

“I know and that’s why I didn’t tell you… I didn’t want you to stop”

 

Kyle looked around, wanted to be certain there was not a single person around to witness this. He reached out for Alex’s hand but his childhood friend immediately pulled away from him.

 

“Don’t, Kyle” Alex insisted. “Please don’t”

“Alex” Kyle argued.

 

Alex slid across the bleacher, putting distance between them.

“You can’t take it back; you meant what you said, what you called me” Alex whispered.

“It just slipped out”

“Tacos and hot dogs, Kyle. You said it because you wanted to hurt me, wanted to embarrass me”

“Well what do you really expect? When you dress like that and act the way you do. Everyone in town knows it, you know it, you just said it… yet you get offended when anyone else says it”

 

Alex kept his head down, wouldn’t look at Kyle. He couldn’t say it, didn’t want Kyle to know the absolute truth. He knew he was gay, his father knew and had known for years. He couldn’t tell Kyle that falling for him had been his moment of clarity. When everything had fallen into place and just  _ felt right.  _ For the first time in his life, he knew who he was.

He wouldn’t tell Kyle that the reason his words had cut him so deep was that he’d used the same venomous hate in his tone that his father used whenever he beat him.

 

Kyle reached for his hand again but this time Alex didn’t pull away, was too busy blinking back tears. He never wanted Kyle to know the inner turmoil he was battling right now.

 

“Kyle” his voice wavered as he blinked back tears “don’t, you can’t take it back”

“I know I can’t” Kyle whispered. “But I can stop and let you move on”

 

He brought Alex’s hand up to his face and kissed his knuckles, the very knuckles that had punched Kyle’s face barely an hour ago. He gently kissed each one twice before releasing his hand entirely.

 

“I shouldn’t have led you on” Kyle said to him “shouldn’t have gotten your hopes up like that. I’m sorry, Manes”

“I tried to tell you, years ago” Alex added “when I said I’d never meet the right girl”

“So you did…” Kyle smiled “but the right person is out there, somewhere, and they are going to love you with everything they have because you deserve it, Manes”

 

Kyle started to get up but stopped then leaned down and kissed him one last time.

“Last ever practice, Alex” Kyle said before turning on his heel and walking away, leaving Alex on the bleachers with tears in his eyes but also a hope for a future with someone who could return his feelings.

 

**-**-**-**-**-**-**-**-**-**

 

Alex was sat outside Michael’s trailer, checking his watch every five minutes or so. The sun was shining brightly overhead but he couldn’t feel the rays, he was too numb inside. He couldn’t blame Michael for running away from him the previous night because he’d been through so much in such a short amount of time. He’d spent hours waiting in the trailer only for Michael to tell him to ‘come back tomorrow and we’ll talk then’. 

 

So Alex had come back and had already been waiting for hours. Michael had come in, covered in blood and possibly unhinged but had immediately run away again. Alex had been terrified to even imagine what state Michael would be in after finding then losing his mother. He needed to talk to him about it, apologize for the role he’d unwittingly played. His father had done this; after all these years his father was still causing Michael such pain.

 

He pulled out his phone and stared at it. No messages or missed calls. Okay so Michael hadn’t given him an exact time to show up but he’d wanted to be here when Michael came back. He wanted Michael to know that he would always be here for him.

Michael had been there for him; Michael had waited ten years for him. Alex could wait a few hours.

 

But the hour started to grow late and he started to feel like an idiot. He’d spent months giving Michael the runaround maybe it was inevitable that the day would come that Michael wouldn’t be waiting for him. It would be ironic that when Alex was finally ready to commit, Michael would be the one to walk away.

 

Maybe he’d fallen for Michael too quickly, too easily after Kyle’s official rejection. He’d taken the first step, had tried to initiate the first kiss in a desperate bid to get over his feelings for Kyle and Michael had pulled away from him but when he came back and kissed Alex, his entire heart had opened to him. 

Opening his heart and his body to Michael had just cemented his feelings. Watching his father destroy Michael’s hand because he’d slept with him had broken his heart but just made him ache for Michael even more desperately.

 

He’d left town, tried to put as much distance between himself and Michael is a bid to protect him. His father wouldn’t dare hurt Michael again as long as Alex stayed away from him. But their connection had never completely broken and within months of returning home, he’d found himself back in Michael’s arms and in his bed.

Then his father happened  _ again _ and Alex walked away  _ again _ , told himself he was doing it to protect Michael… and yet, all this time, his father had been holding Michael’s mother captive, torturing and experimenting on her.

 

Alex checked his watch again.

Caulfield had been emotionally draining for all of them. Kyle’s admission that his father had gotten what he deserved for his treatment of the aliens still shook Alex but Michael needed to be his priority. He needed to be here for him.

 

Alex picked up his phone and dialed Michael’s number. It rang several times before a very sleepy voice answered. It was lunchtime, why were they sleepy?

 

“Hello?” Maria’s voice was like a knife in Alex’s heart. “Who is this?”

“Babe, who is it?” Michael’s unmistakable voice brought tears to his eyes.

“No one” Maria sounded annoyed.

“Hang up and come back to bed”

 

The call ended and Alex just kept the phone to his ear, unable to think or move. Except for the tears that started to roll down his cheeks. 

He was sitting outside Michael’s trailer; waiting for a man who was currently in bed with his best friend. Alex felt numb inside, he needed a drink but couldn’t even go to the Wild Pony.

 

He got to his feet and walked away from the trailer without a single glance back over his shoulder. Alex got into his car and drove away from the junkyard, tears still spilling from his eyes. He could barely see where he was going but the car seemed to know where he wanted to go and ten minutes later he came to a stop outside Kyle’s house.

 

Alex climbed out of the car and stumbled up the front walk. He knocked on the door and didn’t let up until the door opened for him. Kyle was standing in the entryway, he looked as awful as Alex felt and he wondered just how terrible his night must have been.

 

Kyle stepped aside and welcomed the upset Alex into his home, pushed the door closed behind him then followed Alex into the living room. He watched as Alex picked up the open bottle of scotch that Kyle had been nursing all morning and took a long swig. He put the bottle down and choked back a sob.

 

He didn’t have to ask what was wrong. Kyle knew the only thing possible of causing Alex this much pain and he moved towards him, pulled Alex into his arms and held him tightly. He felt Alex’s face nuzzling against his neck and he wanted to hunt Guerin down. Kyle knew the alien had been through Hell over the past few days but he couldn’t stand seeing Alex in such pain.

 

They parted and Alex stared into Kyle’s tired eyes, leaned in close and kissed him deeply. This wasn’t a practice kiss; it was desperate and needy and pained. Kyle closed his eyes, parted his lips and returned the kiss. 

Kyle was the first to pull away and he looked into Alex’s tear filled eyes.

 

“Alex” he breathed, hand coming up to cup his cheek. “What are you doing?”

“Tell me you’ve never once thought about this and I’ll believe you, I’ll walk away and-”

“First Liz and now you, all my friends just want to use me for sex”

“I’m sorry, Kyle. I’d never-”

“Use me, Alex… Whatever you need to not feel like this, do it, use me, please?”

 

Alex sobbed and nodded his head then he leaned in and kissed Kyle again and again and again.

And Kyle let him because he couldn’t lie to his friend, couldn’t tell him that he’d never thought of him like that. Couldn’t tell him that he didn’t want him to walk away.

He wanted this. He wanted him. And even if he couldn’t keep him after, he’d take whatever he could get because Alex was his best friend. Had been his first ever kiss and he wanted him to know that he’d always be there for him when he needed him. Kyle had failed to be the friend Alex had needed in high school but he wasn’t going to fail him again because he loved him. 

He just couldn’t tell him because it would hurt too much.


End file.
